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motherhood
Confessions of a Marriage Therapist: 2017 Reflections

I don’t know about you, but I’m still riding high on new year’s vibes. I’m so excited for what’s in store this year and I'm feeling really optimistic about what this year will bring for all of us. One of the ways that I like to welcome the new year and honor myself for what I’ve lived through in the past year is to do a yearly reflection. (I posted a blog about this last January.) This helps me to really think about all the things I actually did do in the last 12 months, and not get discour…
Video: Confessions of a Marriage Therapist "Goals & Feelings"


This week's video is all about how, after I had run myself ragged as a mom, I finally learned to focus on how I want to FEEL over what I want to accomplish.
In it, I tell you about my 3 favorite ways to start focusing on the right things. With some practice, these habits will help you to naturally create your ideal day.
Watch the video here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcNMUST8a7Y&w=854&h=480
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6 Ways to Stop Taking Things Personally as a Mom

When you’re a mom, the unsolicited advice and passing criticisms from others can come out of nowhere sometimes.
Because the holidays tend to bring about more family gatherings and social events, this can set us up for a lot of opportunities to be on the receiving end of those comments. Not to mention, with all the added stress and hustle that the holidays often bring with them, we might be feeling just a bit more frazzled or sensitive than other times of the year. As if being a parent…
Weathering the Weather in this Season of Motherhood

We’re officially within the bounds of “holiday season” by now. We survived the time change (how did that go for your little ones, by the way?). It’s getting darker way sooner than it was just weeks ago. And fall is transitioning into winter.
This time of year, the sun sets so early in the day and even when it’s out, you might not always see too much of it. Skies turn grey or overcast many days out of the season. Northern California, where I live, definitely tends to get more precipitati…
6 Things to Never Say to Someone Who Has Lost a Baby (And What to Do Instead)
Trigger Warning:
This post deals with the common experiences and needs of moms who have lost a baby. If you have experienced a miscarriage or baby loss and the grief feels too raw for you right now, please honor how you’re feeling today and consider bookmarking this post for another day when you’re feeling stronger or more ready.

Last week, in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I wrote about some of the common threads experienced by moms who have miscarried or lost a ba…
Miscarriage & Baby Loss: 7 Key Things You Need to Know
Trigger Warning:
This post deals with the common experiences of moms who have lost a baby. If you have experienced a miscarriage or baby loss and the grief feels too raw for you right now, please honor how you’re feeling today and consider bookmarking this post for another day when you’re feeling stronger or more ready. Or, simply skip the content and scroll to the bottom of this post to access the short list of support resources I have included for you.

This Sunday (Oct. 15) is Pregnancy…
Is There a Right Way to Celebrate Baby's First Birthday?

This is not a post about how to plan a Pinterest-worthy, uniquely-themed first birthday party that will wow your guests and make impressive Instagram photos.
I’m not going to talk about smash cakes, decorations, or party tutus. You can find plenty of that with just a quick Google search.
What I really want to talk about is WHY a baby’s first birthday is such a momentous day worth celebrating, and how to celebrate it in ways that honor that WHY.
To clarify: No, of course there’s not a r…
Shifts & Starts: 3 Major Times Our Little Ones Change Up Our Routines

I don’t know about you, but lately, my Facebook newsfeed is filled with adorable first-day-of-school photos.
I love it. You can see the anticipation in their little faces and I completely understand what those moms and dads posting them must be feeling.
This time of year always makes me a bit reflective about transitions. And I can’t help but think about how parenthood is constantly insisting we grow right along with our kids.
Three major times of transition immediately come t…
Catherine O'Brien featured in PsychCentral's "Mothering Lessons" Article


Motherhood has a way of catalyzing change and growth. It's like the one great equalizer: Motherhood doesn't care if you're a so-called "expert" or not. We ALL struggle. And we all acquire our own set of mothering wisdom to share.
This week, I had the pleasure of being featured in PsychCentral's article, "Women Reveal the Biggest Lessons Mothering Has Taught Them." I'd love it if you'd check it out. Then, share your own wise mothering lessons in the comments below!
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Guest Blog: Simplify Your Life So You Can Focus on Family

Written by WENDY ROHIN, PT, DPT
Parenting in the modern world is unnecessarily cluttered with distractions and multitasking. Unfortunately–despite all the current advances and technology of our time–no one has yet to invent the SuperMom pill. (Don’t worry, I’m working on it.) So, in the meantime, you have to prioritize with intention, or the important things (people) will become neglected and…well…less important. Please, read on if you interested in some ideas on how to simplify your li…
Momma Interviews "Expert Edition" featuring Alicia Taverner

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition," but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …
Momma Interviews "Expert Edition" featuring Rebekah Fedrowitz

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …
Guest Blog: Caring for Your Parents and Your Babies: What I Learned During My Son’s First Year

Written by Kate Turza
When my son was 10 months old, I found out I was pregnant with our second child. So, like most young families, we made the decision to move out of our “starter house” and into our “forever house." Finally, when my second was 5 months old we moved into our “forever” home. Life was good. Two babies, beautiful house, happy mom & dad.
A couple weeks after moving into our house, my father (who had been living with Multiple Sclerosis for almost 30 years) went in for a routine…
Momma Interviews "Expert Edition" featuring Cassie Owens, LPC

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …
Momma Interviews "Expert Edition" featuring Jo Muirhead

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition," but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …
Guest Blog: 5 Considerations to Safeguard Against Postpartum Depression

Written by Brittni Fudge, MA, LPC, NCC
Up to 20% of pregnant and new moms will experience some form of anxiety or mood disorder. This is a staggering number—especially considering these statistics are gathered based only on what women report. Due to the stigma around mental health, many women don’t report their depression or anxiety to healthcare professionals, so it’s likely that that number is higher.

Pregnant moms often ask me if there’s anything they can do to prevent postpart…
Momma Interviews "Expert Edition" featuring Lindsay Lipton Gerszt

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …
Momma Interviews "Expert Edition" featuring Shana Averbach, LMFT

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition," but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …
Guest Blog: The Stigma of Maternal Mental Health Keeps Women in The Dark Ages

Written by Mercedes Samudio, LCSW
The recent coverage of celebrity mothers, like Chrissy Teigen, discussing how they came to discover that the unsettling feelings they experienced after giving birth was called postpartum depression sheds light on an interesting dialogue we need to have with women: becoming a mother is not always going to be a beautifully exciting time in a mother’s life; and that’s okay. The idea that a mother should love her new baby - or even the more seemingly inclusive s…
Momma Interviews "Expert Edition" featuring Amanda Zaidman

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition", but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …
Momma Interviews "Expert Edition" featuring Dr. Katayune Kaeni

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've relaunched my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition," but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected and learn …
Momma Interviews "Expert Edition": Featuring Arianna Taboada

May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, so I've decided to relaunch my "Momma Interviews" series--This time with an extra special set of moms. These mommas also work to support other moms and their families during the transition into new parenthood and beyond. I'm calling it the "Expert Edition," but I think you'll find that while these women definitely are experts in their work, parenthood has a way of making a beginner out of everybody. Even experts get surprised by the unexpected a…
Letting New Parents Off the Hook: Mommas of 2+ Kids Give You Their Best Hacks & Cut You Some Slack!

Being a new mom is an adjustment.
OK, that might be an understatement. Sometimes, being a new mom is hard, and scary, and nerve-wracking, exhausting, confusing. Being a new mom can make you question whether you’re even cut out for this. Whether you’re any good at it. Why everything in the book isn’t working. Or, how you surely must be screwing your kid up from the get-go if you don’t do x-y-z right.
Let me tell you: Every single mom has felt this way at some point. You’re not alone…
How to Deal When Your Baby Hates the Car

Not all of us win the lottery when it comes to kids and car rides. Some parents love driving their babies or kids around because they’re guaranteed to knock out during the ride. Other parents, not so much.
If your baby screams as if they’re being tortured during any drive or if your toddler gets carsick, I know how traumatic it can feel for you, momma. I have two kids and they are like night and day when it comes to personalities. Their reactions to car rides….also like night and day.…
Dear Momma, Your Priorities are Skewed!

Dear Momma,
Your priorities are skewed!
Now, honestly, I mean that in the nicest way. Because if you’ve met me before you know that saying something direct and possibly hurtful is not my style. But I feel like if I don’t tell you, then I can’t continue to sit back and watch you be miserable and continue to let you commiserate.
Because momma, you are so focused on what isn’t right that you aren’t noticing the positive.
Like the fact that your baby slept through the night. And it's b…
New Mama Worries, Part 2: How to Know if it's Postpartum Anxiety

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” - Amit Ray
Anxiety sucks. Anxiety while being a mom really sucks.
One of the things I hear from moms is that they often blame themselves if they feel anxious. As if somehow they are failing as a mom, a partner, or a person if they experience anxiety and motherhood at the same time. Maybe they just weren't cut out for this job.
But NO! That's so not true. The truth is that you do love your sweet b…
New Mama Worries, Part 1: What's Normal & How to Get Past Your Anxieties

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
- Elizabeth Stone
One of the most common concerns I hear from moms both in my practice and in my personal life is the constant worry they feel since bringing their baby home. For many, it starts during pregnancy.
And, on the one hand, worry makes a lot of sense. We have been entrusted with the fullest of responsibilities--creating and raising a life. …
Where to Meet Your Mom Tribe (And, how to actually meet them!)

One of the biggest challenges I hear from moms is how difficult it is to find mom friends. Some even liken it to going out to a bar and hitting on someone, hoping that they like you and want to start hanging out. That doesn't always have the best memories associated with it, does it?
The fear of rejection is real. And the effort it takes to meet new people can feel daunting or even draining for some of us.
And with all the new demands on our lives as moms after these new little peopl…
Quick + Essential: Why Oils Are A Busy Mom's Best Friend (Plus, a Bonus Download!)

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about stress and the brain. In it, I talk about the limbic system (our “reptilian brain” that controls our emotions) and the five main ways to impact its response to stress.
Of those five ways--aromatics, breath, nature, nervous system and energy work--the fastest way to invoke calm in the limbic part of our brain is by literally following our noses. This is effective because the olfactory nerve--the part of our anatomy that correlates to our sense of sme…
Need a Time-Out? Try a Meditation App! (I've reviewed them for you!)

When you think of meditation, what do you imagine?
If I had to guess, I bet you’re picturing something like this:

Sure, looks ideal, right?
But in a mom’s reality, it probably looks more like this:

Or, it might look even more like this.
That’s totally OK! We need to let go of that perfect image of zen and realize that we can find a little moment of peace anywhere as long as we know how to do it.
There are so many different ways that you can find some calm in your daily…
7 Things All Moms Should Know About The Brain to Get Control Over Their Stress

There is nothing quite like motherhood to make you feel like you’ve lost control or that you’ve met your limit, right? Often times, motherhood can feel joyful, meaningful, boring, stressful, exhausting….all in one day.
I think ideally we’d all like to feel more joy and meaning than stress and exhaustion though. And, thankfully, there are actual things you can do to make sure you feel more ease and can enjoy the positives more.
In order to understand how to use calming tools for when…
10 Tips to Tame Your Busy-ness

Let’s face it, if you’re a mom, YOU ARE BUSY. It’s just a fact of modern life.
And, I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you: The bad news is you’ll always be busy (at least until you’re empty-nesters, I’m afraid!). But, the good news is there are definitely ways you can simplify and streamline your beautifully chaotic, messy, imperfect life.
And because you’re so busy, I’m going to get right down to it.
Here are my top 10 tips for taming your busy-ness:
1. Use Techno…
Top 3 Books for Expecting Parents

Isn’t it crazy just how much we need to do, think about, and plan for when we are expecting a baby? It is an amazing time, but it is also a life-altering, world-changing event.
If you are an expectant parent you are probably already inundated with books, research on the best products, and get loads of unsolicited advice. (And if you're not yet, just wait....)
There are a million books (ok, maybe not a million, but an overwhelming amount) out there for expecting and new parents. Pregnan…
Get Mom What She Really Wants: 12 Gift Ideas to Make Her Life Easier

In case you are in the dark about this, let me let you in on a little secret: moms are busy people. There are probably all kinds of great gift ideas that might be more romantic or luxurious than the ones I'm about to recommend, but if you really care about making a mom feel truly happier, lighter and supported, I think these are some ideas worth considering.
And before we go any further, let me preface by saying that unless otherwise mentioned, I am in no way affiliated with any company …
Confessions of a Marriage Therapist: When Your Mom Tribe Doesn't Exist
What is it like to feel like you don't belong? Or, to feel like everyone else makes friends so much easier than you do?

I talk to my clients all the time about how important it is to have a community--a tribe--a circle of other mom friends to support you, laugh with you, lift you up, or let you fall apart in their company. Moms who “get it” and don’t judge you for your struggles or imperfections.
I know when you're in school it's easy (or easier anyway) to meet and connect with people, but…
Catherine O'Brien Interviewed on Her Life Unscripted with Anna Osborn

I recently had the pleasure of chatting with Anna Osborn, a dear friend and colleague, on her podcast, Her Life Unscripted, all about new motherhood--its effects on our relationships with our partners, how our needs change even though our wants might stay the same, and the imperative of finding your tribe as a momma.
Anna Osborn is a licensed psychotherapist for burnt-out women and stretched-thin mommas. She's a business owner, public speaker, and mother of twins in Sacramento, Californi…
5 Tips for Reducing Ever-Growing Mom Guilt
Featured in PsychCentral.com

Let's face it: We moms are all guilty of....well, feeling guilty. At least a little bit, at least once in a while. We all do it and we all know it's futile. It's time to let ourselves off the hook a little.
In her latest feature on PsychCentral.com, Catherine O'Brien says, “Not every mom is going to be good at everything, but there are so many things that [moms] provide on a regular basis that only we can do so well.”
Check out the full article for 5 tips…
Navigating the Tricky and Often Triggering World of Social Media as a Mom
Featured on PsychCentral.com

Catherine O'Brien, LMFT has once again been featured in an article on PsychCentral.com, this time discussing specifically how social media influences self-confidence, mental health, and choice as mothers.
Do you use Facebook or other social media platforms as a little break, some socialization or support?
Notice how you feel whenever you do log on to social media and whether it is actually serving you.
It can often be a double-edged sword. There are some…
Momma Interviews: Meet Vanessa Walker
The Momma Interviews is a new blog series by Catherine O'Brien, LMFT highlighting the thoughts, experiences and wisdom of a unique real-world mom each week, to normalize and validate the struggles and triumphs that are a part of the universally human experience of motherhood for women everywhere.

This week's Momma Interview comes from a woman who is no stranger to stress, at home or work but is able to use the smiles and hugs from her kiddos to pull her through those tough moments.
Meet V…
Momma Interviews: Meet Ruth Rau
The Momma Interviews is a new blog series by Catherine O'Brien, LMFT highlighting the thoughts, experiences and wisdom of a unique real-world mom each week, to normalize and validate the struggles and triumphs that are a part of the universally human experience of motherhood for women everywhere.

This week, we're hearing from a momma who turns to God when running her home and running after her sons gets overwhelming. When she feels unsure or uneasy, she listens to her inner voice and instinc…
Momma Interviews: Meet Amanda Rae
The Momma Interviews is a new blog series by Catherine O'Brien, LMFT highlighting the thoughts, experiences and wisdom of a unique real-world mom each week, to normalize and validate the struggles and triumphs that are a part of the universally human experience of motherhood for women everywhere.

This week, we're hearing from a momma who lives with Rheumatoid Arthritis and manages to chase around two energetic boys. When she feels stress coming on or judgment from others, she reminds herself…
Momma Interviews: Meet Rachel Bowers
The Momma Interviews is a new blog series by Catherine O'Brien, LMFT highlighting the thoughts, experiences and wisdom of a unique real-world mom each week, to normalize and validate the struggles and triumphs that are a part of the universally human experience of motherhood for women everywhere.

THIS WEEK, AN EX-PAT LIVING IN AUSTRALIA SHARES WITH US HOW SHE CHECKS IN WITH HERSELF AND MAKES REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS FOR WHAT SHE CAN ACCOMPLISH EACH DAY. SHE IS ONLY INTERESTED IN DOING WHAT SHE…
Guest Blog: Running on Empty

IN HONOR OF MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH THIS MAY, WE WILL BE FEATURING GUEST BLOGGERS, EACH OF WHOM BRING THEIR OWN UNIQUE EXPERTISE AND PERSPECTIVE TO THE DISCUSSION. IT IS MY HOPE TO HELP EDUCATE AND NORMALIZE THE EXPERIENCES OF ALL MOMS.
Guest Blog Post: Running on Empty
By Anna Osborn, LMFT
I don’t know about you, but I have yet to meet a momma that is not a working momma. It doesn’t matter if you’re working in the home or out, the unending balancing act is universal. And qui…
Momma Interviews: Meet Sylwia Eli
The Momma Interviews is a new blog series by Catherine O'Brien, LMFT highlighting the thoughts, experiences and wisdom of a unique real-world mom each week, to normalize and validate the struggles and triumphs that are a part of the universally human experience of motherhood for women everywhere.

This week we are chatting with a momma from the UK who saw motherhood as the perfect reason to seek some enlightenment in this world and realize what she truly believes in. Read on to find out more …
Guest Blog Post: From Belly Bliss to Dark Depression

IN HONOR OF MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH THIS MAY, WE WILL BE FEATURING GUEST BLOGGERS, EACH OF WHOM BRING THEIR OWN UNIQUE EXPERTISE AND PERSPECTIVE TO THE DISCUSSION. IT IS MY HOPE TO HELP EDUCATE AND NORMALIZE THE EXPERIENCES OF ALL MOMS.
Guest Blog Post: From Belly Bliss to Dark Depression
Guest Post by Brittni Fudge, MA, NCC, LPCC
Two minutes can feel like an hour when you’ve just taken a pregnancy test and are waiting for the results. When women see the two lines show up, th…
Bonus: Video Interview with Lorri Ann Code
IN HONOR OF MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH THIS MAY, WE WILL BE FEATURING GUEST BLOGGERS AND INTERVIEWS, EACH OF WHOM BRING THEIR OWN UNIQUE EXPERTISE AND PERSPECTIVE TO THE DISCUSSION. IT IS MY HOPE TO HELP EDUCATE AND NORMALIZE THE EXPERIENCES OF ALL MOMS.

Lori Ann Code is so amazing. She founded Mama Bootcamp, a facility in Sacramento, CA that provides support and training for women to reach their wellness and bucket list goals. She's also the author of "[find your mojo] 52 Weeks…
Bonus: Video Interview with Julie Hurst, Founder of Herself Moms in Sacramento, CA
IN HONOR OF MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH THIS MAY, WE WILL BE FEATURING GUEST BLOGGERS AND INTERVIEWS, EACH OF WHOM BRING THEIR OWN UNIQUE EXPERTISE AND PERSPECTIVE TO THE DISCUSSION. IT IS MY HOPE TO HELP EDUCATE AND NORMALIZE THE EXPERIENCES OF ALL MOMS.

I'm thrilled to bring to you a special interview I did with Julie Hurst, Founder & Owner of "Herself Moms," which is an incredible resource for both physical and emotional support for prenatal and postpartum moms in the Sacramen…
Guest Blog Post: The Black Coat

IN HONOR OF MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH THIS MAY, WE WILL BE FEATURING GUEST BLOGGERS, EACH OF WHOM BRING THEIR OWN UNIQUE EXPERTISE AND PERSPECTIVE TO THE DISCUSSION. IT IS MY HOPE TO HELP EDUCATE AND NORMALIZE THE EXPERIENCES OF ALL MOMS.
Guest Blog Post: The Black Coat
By Jo Muirhead
My son is just about to turn 16. It’s been a long time since I was in the moment of him being a 2 year old, or a new born. I love him dearly and I know without any doubt that I am the best mum fo…
Guest Blog: What You Should Know About Pregnancy Loss

IN HONOR OF MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH THIS MAY, WE WILL BE FEATURING GUEST BLOGGERS, EACH OF WHOM BRING THEIR OWN UNIQUE EXPERTISE AND PERSPECTIVE TO THE DISCUSSION. IT IS MY HOPE TO HELP EDUCATE AND NORMALIZE THE EXPERIENCES OF ALL MOMS.
Guest Blog Post: What You Should Know About Pregnancy Loss
By Rachel Rabinor, LCSW
When a woman loses a pregnancy, her baby, life changes forever in ways most will thankfully never understand. She’s joined a club that no one wants to be in and…
Bonus: Video Interview with Elly Taylor, Author of "Becoming Us"
IN HONOR OF MATERNAL MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH THIS MAY, WE WILL BE FEATURING GUEST BLOGGERS AND INTERVIEWS, EACH OF WHOM BRING THEIR OWN UNIQUE EXPERTISE AND PERSPECTIVE TO THE DISCUSSION. IT IS MY HOPE TO HELP EDUCATE AND NORMALIZE THE EXPERIENCES OF ALL MOMS.

This was such a fun opportunity! In this interview, I chat with Elly Taylor, an incredible relationship counselor, researcher and author of the book, Becoming Us, which I recommend to clients all the time. Such an honor to have …
