Momma Interviews: Meet Sylwia Eli

The Momma Interviews is a new blog series by Catherine O'Brien, LMFT highlighting the thoughts, experiences and wisdom of a unique real-world mom each week, to normalize and validate the struggles and triumphs that are a part of the universally human experience of motherhood for women everywhere.

This week we are chatting with a momma from the UK who saw motherhood as the perfect reason to seek some enlightenment in this world and realize what she truly believes in. Read on to find out more about how she went from bedtime meltdowns to simply melting in admiration of her sweet, sweet daughter...

I'd like to introduce you to Sylwia Eli--a momma who is learning more about herself in motherhood, than ever before! Here's her interview:

How do you balance the mom, work, and relationship roles?

I am present with what I am doing at the moment. Also I have some time on my own every day. When I have quality time with my daughter I leave my phone away and I am only with her. When I work I remain fully focused on work and I teach my daughter why it is important to have a passionate career so she is now happy to see me going to work. I make sure that I have quality time with my partner in the evenings, we have a chat, watch film or go out for dinner sometimes.

Most moms I speak to say there are moments when they are ready to throw in the towel. Can you describe a time you felt this way? What got you through it?

Bedtime used to be nightmares for me! One day I found myself screaming at my daughter (which I'm against! so had lots of guilt after) to go to sleep just to see her kicking the bed and screaming and laughing. I felt like giving a slap (which again I am against) but I just left to the bathroom, cry it out and then counted to 10! After that I looked for help and was recommended a book "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" and that's changed my life and relationship with my daughter completely!

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed, overstretched, or less than?

I breathe and repeat “I am calm, I am relaxed, all is well.” I have few more [mantras]. I also use a relaxation method called tapping (Emotional Freedom Tapping) that really helps me to ground and change my perception in minutes.

I've had parents tell me that one of the hardest things about being a parent is the comparisons and judgments from other parents. How do you personally cope with that?

I used to worry about that at the beginning but since I started to work on my beliefs and personal development I understand that everyone is different and has their opinion.

What is the great lesson you've learned as a mom?

Children don't hear you, they watch you and learn from your behavior.

What is your favorite quote that inspires you as a mom?

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." -Wayne Dyer

What is your favorite song that inspires you as a mom?

Beyonce, "I Was Here.”

What is the one piece of advice you'd like to give to other moms?

Live the life you always dreamed of so you can inspire your child to create their life too!

What do you feel is your greatest personal struggle with the experience of motherhood?

It was a finding a balance between my dream career and fulfilled motherhood. I simply didn't believe that was even possible and initially I sacrificed my career in order to be a "perfect" present mum. That made me feel miserable and I lost confidence in myself and my abilities.

How has your relationship with your partner changed? How has it stayed the same?

At the beginning it changed drastically. I was all about doing it alone and criticizing him at every second, so it wasn't long since he stopped offering help with our baby. Then I was upset with him that he wouldn't help. From there it was easy to argue. Luckily, I went down a personal development path so now we can understand each other better.

What is something that has surprised you about being a mom (i.e. something you didn't realize you'd enjoy, something you didn't know babies/kids did, something you didn't know could bring so much joy)?

My daughter telling me, ”Mummy I want to be just like you.”