3 Communication Tips for Parenting Couples to Get the Support You Need
Today, I’m going to keep this short and sweet.
Last week, I talked to you about the role of grandparents in our lives and why it’s so important to communicate with your little ones’ grandparents about what kind of support you need.
They all want to be involved in their own way.
But sometimes they aren’t the type to jump in and handle things because they just don’t want to step on your toes.
Sometimes they are comfortable with jumping in to lend a hand, but they just don’t do things in a way that actually makes the burden of keeping up with it all feel lighter.
And sometimes, they offer suggestions or off-handed comments that don’t feel comforting, validating or supportive.
They mean well. They really do.
(At least, more often than not, this is true. And if this is not true in the case of your parents or in-laws, then we need to have an entirely different kind of conversation….)
So, today I’m taking this topic deeper by offering you a 3-minute video discussing 3 quick and simple tips for how to ask for (and get!) the support you really need from them.
Because I know it can be hard to ask for help. And it can be doubly hard when it’s family you’re dealing with. You don’t want to stir the pot or hurt anyone’s feelings.
You’re exhausted. The last thing you have energy for right now is unnecessary drama.
So, let’s get right to it. I give you: 3 Communication Tips to Get the Support You Need.
Check out the video and transcript below. And if you have deeper questions or need more help with trying to figure out how to communicate with your support people, let me know what you’re struggling with.
WATCH THE VIDEO:
This video previously aired as a Facebook Live. You can follow Happy With Baby on Facebook to catch all their live videos here.
Hey there. Bear with me today on my makeshift live. I was supposed to be doing this in a totally different place, except my tripod is not working and I can't seem to find any other place in my house today that has good lighting that doesn't make me look like I'm like sitting on the floor which is what I usually do.
Anyway, so today--the other, yesterday or if you're watching this from my blog last week, I was talking about how it's important to have those good support people like grandparents or other social supports, family members or other good friends and stuff like that. And so today I want to talk about how to communicate with those people about the things that you need. And how to work with your partner to be able to communicate with them.
And so there's three tips I always give people. And the first tip is to be direct.
Last time, I talked about asking for help and making sure you're asking for help. Or when people offer help, to take the offers that they give. So be direct with what you want or what you don't want it. Sounds pretty easy to do and I know it can be definitely challenging, so that's where communication with your partner is important to make sure that you guys are on the same page.
So that's my tip number two is make sure you and your partner on the same page and that you have each other's back, that you're supporting each other.
And it's not like, "Oh she wants to do it, I don't care, whatever you want to do." It's like, no, if one person wants something a certain way, it's make sure you're like, "Oh, this is how we both want it, this is how we want it, this is what we're doing." So you're--as a team, you stick, you stay together as a team.
And then, of course, a third tip is to have boundaries.
If there's things that you don't like or you don't want to do, let the other people know that--your support people know that's not what you want. If you know they come over and they just, you know, they're doing things that you don't like that they're doing, let them know that you don't--that that's not how you it done or that's not what you like.
A concern I get from a lot of parents is like, "Oh they just come over want to hold the baby and I want to be able to settle with the baby." It's like, well, let them know that's what you want. This is your time to be bonding with your child and you want that time. And then as, you know, they get older and there's other things going on and maybe you're trying to get back into work and that kind of the swing of those things, then say you need a little bit of support. Like it'd be helpful, can you take the baby out for a walk while you get some things done? Or you need to run some errands, so they can stay home and do that. So just let people know what it is exactly that's going on, where you need the support that you need and yeah.
Clearly, I'm doing this from home today because all sorts of noise is going on.
Anyways, so I hope that's helpful to you. If you'd like more information about that or have questions, feel free to let me know. I'd be happy to expand on any of those.
If you are a new parent or expecting a parent, we do have a workshop coming up in two weeks where we go into more depth about this and other areas like household management and communication with your partner, as well as maternal mental health, or I like to call a lot of times, family mental health. And then of course intimacy with your partner and everything,
So thanks for bearing with me in my makeshift video today. And it's a little bit wobbly, so I apologize because I'm trying to hold it so I will end for now. And until next time you guys have a great weekend and I will see you soon.
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